Dating in the 21st Century
I wanted to revisit this post since I have recently jumped back in the dating pool. I have, to be honest, I have not been that successful. Sometimes you feel alone when you go through this process. And it is a process. I have had a few serious relationships and a lover from time to time, but now I feel I am at a point in my life where I can handle a serious relationship. I have worked on my mental and spiritual self, the only set back is the physical. That is a work in progress.
Never one to give up, I keep trucking along and pushing myself in the gym. However, when you are in your 30s and still single you get these confused looks and whispers behind your back. I do not think those who are in marriages, committed relationships, or just settled realize how complicated dating has become.
Reality Style T.V. Dating
I realized we reached the height of dating complication last year after watching a show called Sexy Beasts. Old fashioned dating has been thrown out of the window, the Bachelor/Bachelorette seems dull, and Match and Eharmony have been one-upped. Sexy Beasts sends people on blind dates while dressing them up in prosthetics.
Yup, so you and your date could be dressed up as a Bear, Tree, Troll, Cat, or Lizard. Isn’t that what all of us are looking forward to when we go out on a date, to meet up with a creature of the wild. I mean who doesn’t want to have a date with a dolphin.
The theory is if you take looks out of the equation you can focus more on personality to find a better match. Each contestant goes out on 3 dates and their true faces are only revealed after eliminations and the final creature is chosen. Of course, when the creatures are revealed they are all these gorgeous model/actor types. Perfect teeth, hair, and complexion. No regular Joes on this show, so how real are the connections?
And aren’t we are all looking for that connection between two people, not just sexual, but mental, and spiritual. As more and more friends move on from the single life, it leaves you to wonder if you will find that special someone to pour that glass of wine for you.
When You Haven’t Been Chosen
Articles like “Maybe You’re Single Because Your Wack” don’t help. It is hard enough being a woman then you throw in being a woman of color, and your dating life gets a little more complicated. I also don’t like taking dating advice from someone who is no longer in the struggle. This article mainly focuses on women when they are a lot of single men out here. So, why have some men not been chosen?
The article that counters this is “Sometimes It’s Not You” written by Sara Eckel, who I must say put in much more effort in her dating life than I have. Even though she is successful, attractive, and worked on herself she still faced the dreaded question, “What’s wrong with you?” I firmly believe nothing is wrong with me. I have just as much crazy as everyone else does.
Quitting Online Dating?
The final article hit home for me “10 Reasons I Quit Online Dating.” Number three made me realize I too am way more pickier online than in real life.
I am also finding that even though I just started up again with dating apps, the temptation to give up keeps getting stronger. But my reality is how am I going to find someone trapped behind a desk all day? You have to put yourself out there somehow.
Do you think dating has got more complicated? I would love to hear your thoughts on dating online, struggles, or just how it feels to be dating in your 30s. Also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.