Dating in Your 30’s
When someone like myself who turned 30 again this month ponders their dating life, I can safely say at this age each potential mate has lived a little before they met me. These potential mates may have been married and now are divorced, hopefully working through any emotional baggage, and have a child/children. Some women totally discriminate against dating a Dad. They are not ready to be a stepmom, do not want to deal with the ex-drama, or in many cases believe it will take away from their quality time as a couple.
So, how do you carve out your couple time with a Dad? The first step is to remove all negative thoughts. The main one is thinking that this child is an intrusion into the life you are building together.
Before you are introduced to the child
- Set up a day and time when you two meet up to have your couple or date night each week. If you know he has his child every Thursday to take them to a dance class or sports practice, do not make it on that day.
- Phone calls for me were very important when I dated a Dad. If I could not see him because something came up, we had our couple time over the phone.
After the introductions
- When you are dating the Dad remember you are dating the child as well. So try to schedule at least once or twice a month where you all go out on a date.
- You can also have some couple time at a dance lesson or sports practice as well. This could not only build a stronger relationship with the Dad, but you may be able to see a great skill the child may have inherited.
If you and the Dad are getting serious and thinking about marriage or a committed partnership, then make sure you spend some quality time alone with the child/children. They need to get to know you outside of the relationship and you need to get to know them as they journey through adolescence.
For those who need a reminder, most Dads will never put your needs above their child.
And why would you want them to? When anyone has a child they should always come first.
Also, if you are dating a Dad with some lackluster parenting skills, who is not an active parent in their child’s life, or has multiple children with different women, I suggest you take your time before jumping the broom or moving in.
I hope I have shared with you some tips with you, so you can have some quality time with the Dad you are dating or a potential you are considering. Please comment below your tips and experiences while dating a Dad.